


Young students don't dream of Bruce Lee

by 1061340739



Series: dokidoki [2]
Category: Twisted-Wonderland (Video Game)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29018421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1061340739/pseuds/1061340739
Summary: Use machine translation with Chinese original text
Relationships: Malleus Draconia & Yuu | Player, Malleus Draconia/Reader
Series: dokidoki [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2128836





	Young students don't dream of Bruce Lee

**Author's Note:**

> Use machine translation with Chinese original text

1

Despite the storm, ACE, deuce, Jake and I fell into a strange peace.

Generally speaking, at this moment, we should be good children in the dormitory. We should go to bed at ten and get up at seven. Jake will get up earlier because he has to go out for morning exercises.

I believe that under normal circumstances, no history book will record that at midnight, the sky is sunny and warm. Jianjiansheng and her good friends are wearing traditional RPG style brave formula clothes, standing on the collapsing high-altitude plank road, choosing which way to die.

This is how suitable to write the absurd realism novel picture.

On the left is the blood prison fire, the charred human arm undulating in the thick tomato soup.

On the right is the poisonous mire, and the dark green mist is constantly drifting away from the broken bubble.

In front of him, the cliff fell suddenly, and he couldn't see it to the end.

Behind the giant mouth covetous, with elegant and slow speed slowly approaching us.

My legs tremble, and I hold the corner of my clothes very much. My lower lip is almost bleeding. The heel of the sky self is divided into personal and impersonal. The collapsed space debris is a struggling and twisted body, like the claws of an octopus, and like the body rolling in the fire. The monsters are wrapped in the film, showing different characteristics with each angle changeThe meat is entangled and gives off fresh taste. The hot air condenses into water mist, which may be the frequent whistling in the oral organs.

"It’s really up to me to choose."

I said in despair.

"Not to you, to whom!"The other three spoke in unison.

******

On the night after the quiz, ACE and deuce forced Jake to play cards in my room all night. At that time, I was busy making home-made stinky tofu. It didn’t taste good enough. It was like a melted milk shake, but it had a good smell. Thousands of birds were flying away, thousands of people were missing, dung beetles were ruminating and disappointed, and they made the most of the deception of human beingsJake was very happy that he did well in the exam during the day. As a result, he almost died of smelling the stinky tofu when he came in. The other two thought that the old sewerage project was completely abandoned, which led to the explosion of the small squatter cesspit.

Ace easily ran to the toilet to get the air freshener. The number of times this guy came to the little hut was not clear enough. After class, he turned his foot and found that the way to my room was more familiar than his own home. While deuce stayed in the same place, holding Jake’s hand and his tie around his face as a medical mask, and yelled: "hard!Push!Keep breathing!You can see the child’s head

What the hell did you learn in physiology class.

I quickly threw a slip of materials into the refrigerator and kicked the door. Then I ran to the storage room where I had hardly cleaned up to get the emergency ventilator. It took Jake a long time to come back. He told us that when he fainted, he seemed to see heaven. The kind faces of the seven Heroes passed in front of him one after another. In his ear was the school song of Asahi American Male Solo. He had passed away for many yearsMy grandparents are holding Yangli candied fruit to greet him to eat.

I compassionately drew a cross on my chest. I wish heaven had no Leona.

After the end of the farce, we officially started to play cards. Four players took turns to play the game of fighting landlords. The rules were mainly determined by whether I was in charge and what cards I held. Ace, as the only professional player with the potential and strength to cheat, was stripped of his coat under our strong request, and Grimm personally left the game and sealed it with a cat’s bellyHis right hand.

"You don’t have to exaggerate..."Xiao Po Liao is besieged on all sides, with air leaking from all sides. Ace is shivering. The poker in his hand forms a half arc, with even spacing. Every time he plays a card, his two fingers shake slightly, and then a poker falls on the top of the pile like autumn wind sweeping leaves.

"You have no such persuasion, brother!"I’m the landlord. I’ve got a good hand. I’ve got a smooth start, and Xiao Wang has two blasts in his hand. If I change this K into J, it will be a winner. Unfortunately, I can’t change it.

I inflated like a hot-air balloon used for flying at a celebration. After three rounds, I had already seen the bottom in my hands. I even had Jake make a cup of coffee for deuce in a good mood. Werewolf made a big pot of coffee with a hot-water bottle, and almost used up all my instant stock.

Just walk a K, and then a 2, ACE still has 17 cards in hand, I put out bold words, take tomorrow’s egg bun as a guarantee, he will not be able to save me.

However, I stayed in the twisted fairyland for a long time. I saw and heard that I was dreaming about the magic adventure in 1997. I had forgotten the nature of Muggle world. God’s favorite thing to do was to kick people’s buttocks when they were complacent. The next second, I was forced to recall the Legend of the unbeaten God, gluttonous mouth.

"The plane!"Ace spread out his right hand with a gesture of equality, 17 cards flying like flowers, took my egg bun away, at the same time, he also took my six strange beans as a bet.

The scene was very quiet for a time.

"Let’s take off his trousers, too."I said in pain.

As the saying goes, playing games is to play whistling. It’s better to wear a mask of pain on other people’s face than on one’s own face. Friendship is the first and competition is the second. The attitude of haggling won’t bring a smile, so we rush to see ace scream at nothing and start to pull his pants. In the chaos, deuce’s coffee spills all over the floor, and the cards can’t be playedDown, our late night activities turned into puckering up, kneeling on the ground and wiping the floor with a rag.

The steps on the second floor are always not very strong. As long as I look down, I can see the mottled panorama of the conversation room below. I protested to yasasi for many times, but I didn’t get a clear reply. Every time I went down the stairs, I was scared. I was afraid that the creaking object would die in the next second, and it would collapse into a pile to serve as a coffin for meStrong rotten wood.

Jake rubbed his half wet coat with cold water. Deuce was fumigated when he opened the refrigerator to get lemon juice. I ran to the storage room to see if the coffee dripped from the upstairs. All the things in it were old things that the seniors didn’t bother to clean up, and they didn’t take them away when they graduated. They were just piled up in a small hut. Some of them were very easy to get moldy or grow insects. Once, I was very tiredWhen I was squatting in the middle of the night, I saw the cockroaches’ late night canteen. According to grime, I screamed like I saw yasasi dancing pole in a bikini that day.

There was no light in the storage room. I turned on my cell phone and flashlight. The light was so dim that it looked like a murder scene. Ace kept his belt and ran down to see what I was doing.

I know that as long as these two people are together, it’s no good to warn them not to touch, but ace’s hands are faster than his eyes. My warning goes in from his left ear and comes out from his right side intact. He happily takes out a handheld game machine from a pile of paper boxes and rushes back to the second floor to ask a group of people to study the antiques of the last century.

"Does this thing still work?"Ace curiously turned the console over. "I didn’t see the key."

"Doesn’t seem to operate the keyboard, peripheral?"Deuce thinks.

Jake looked at us as if he were reading a book from heaven. No one expected him to know us.

"Put it back quickly!"I argued, but nobody listened to me.

"Then try magic!"Grime cheered loudly. It gave full play to the ability of "don’t use your brain if you don’t have a brain". It took the slogan of "No.2" as the creed of life. With a flick of its tail, a big blue flame rushed straight to the game console.

"You wait!"The unexpected premonition soared, and I flew to grid with a standard carp, but the human body has its limits. It’s like the cauldron of deuce falling from the sky, and we all had a vigorous and close contact with each other’s heads. My eyes suddenly turned dark, and I vaguely heard the sound of heavy objects falling one after another.

2

Malleus rarely dreams.

Goblins have always been dreamy races. The boundary between dream and reality has changed into a thing of the past under the extremely high adaptability of magic. The endless life is too boring. There are many people who take the heaven and earth as the quilt and can sleep unconscious on the spot, but malleus is not.

Malleus has never had a dream since he was an adult. His childhood memory is dense with muddy ink in clear water. It’s shallow and floating, and can’t be touched by his hand.

But now he felt as if he had overlooked something.

The reserve king of the valley of thorns slowly opens his eyes and turns over from the bed made up of pixel graffiti. The sun is hanging high outside the window, and the glass flower windows are printed with pictures of the little dragon from different angles. The children’s interest is like the children’s playground that can only be entered by human cubs under the age of 12. Silver respectfully stands in front of the door, lowering his head to ask him, "Wang, father is waiting for you."

Malleus blinked a little suspiciously. He lowered his head thoughtfully and saw that he was still wearing his familiar school uniform.

And then I looked at silver.

"Wang?Time is running out, "the young guard was slightly worried." do you feel unwell

"No, I’ll be right there."Malleus decided to say it.

"But, silver, is it April Fool’s day?Why do you dress like an upright Blue Macaw

*****

It is said that the sixth sense of women is the most effective guide to divination in the world. Especially when catching up with the extortion and confession, gossip, and the smell of neckline to the second storage space of mobile phone, their ability of anti reconnaissance and execution can make Holmes feel ashamed. But in view of my existence, I want to prove the lowest limit of human species.The number fluctuates around. It can be said that you sprinkle rice on the test paper. The old hens used in the canteen for cooking at noon all score higher than me, so the freshmen like to come to me for divination.

If I exclude one of the three single choice questions from my first intuition and one from my careful consideration, I will get the optimal solution.

Supervise the life and anti purchase. The villa is close to the sea. Don’t tell me anything else. If you don’t win my crotch clean, you won’t give me face.

At the moment, the blood pool on my left hand is as red as the apple in Snow White’s hand, and the poison marsh on my right hand is as green as Hamlet’s green hat on his father’s head. It’s colorful. It doesn’t look like I can escape from the sky. But my intuition, which has no one but the seller, is beating gongs and drums, happily, pushing my legs back. The answer is obvious. I’m sorryCommand ace with solemn and fearless manner: "jump!"

I admit that I have the element of gambling in this jump, but as the saying goes, it’s better to live than to die, and the disaster can last for thousands of years. The four talents present here, three of them are the devil king who can’t be too much to drag out and shoot. If they really die young, they’re sorry for the magic lamp that they broke. Deuce showed his astonishing stupor at the most untimely timeTouqing talent, without waiting for the other two people to work again, this Si has already dragged his family, shouting "I see", dragging everyone’s tie to jump down.

"I hope there’s a pool deep enough down there."Ace’s short black tea hair was blown out of the explosion effect by the whistling wind. He was not as calm as a suicide man who was dancing in an uninsured high altitude. I screamed as if I was being tortured. Jake didn’t say a word, his face was pale, and all kinds of life were vividly displayed on us. He laughed, scolded, greedy, angry and crazy, and the lantern was like a runaway hareThe speed of walking 80 kilometers per second on the roll rolls back and forth in my mind. Whether it will fall into a pool of mixed sauce is beyond my control. At this moment, I can only think of Jiao taro.

Without any reason, I suddenly felt that I should go to him.

In the event of jumping off a cliff, I sprained my ankle at 1 meter, broke my leg at 5 meters, and put on my spine at 10 meters. But the distance between 100 meters and 1000 meters is not so clear. Anyway, the only choice for me is to smash my body to pieces. On the contrary, whether it is high or low has become the lowest priority criterion. From the beginning, I was in the mood to compare my fingers with deuce. When I rounded up to 10, I took back one hand and turned backJake dozed off in mid air. He was so sleepy that his ears fell into a horizontal line. Ace looked at us thoughtfully, pointing to the sky first, then to the ground, and finally poked me.

"Supervisor," he mysteriously approached my ear, "I’ll do you a magic trick."

Magic?I like to see this!I immediately left behind deuce and looked at ace intently to see what new tricks he could give me. I saw the first-class student sitting cross legged, with lotus in both hands, solemnly raising his jaw in a holy and unattainable manner, and his eyes narrowed slightly: "God said, there should be light."

Boom——

I don’t care whether he calls out light or not, but I think if I let him continue to monkey around like this, I may turn into light first.

The boundless flood broke through the invisible dyke like a coin thrown by Kalim, and turned into a gluttonous water dragon, which engulfed us all. Jake suddenly woke up and his tail was up. As the only conscience of the night Raven academy, he found his balance in the water tornado for the first time, and fished me back to the formation to avoid the helplessIt’s the fate that the vegetable chicken becomes the white chopped chicken.

I don’t know about ace and crow’s beakThe flood from the sky washed the plain visible to the naked eye into a crude artificial lake. I was slapped by the oncoming water dragon. As soon as I climbed to the land, I fell on ACE’s shoulder and vomited. Ace was very cold, for fear that I might not be able to stain his clothesI don’t even talk about brotherhood.

The four of us were paralyzed on the Bank of the slope, like four stranded fish, each of them turned their eyes and drank a lot of water. We really realized what we are not the producers of nature, but the porters of nature.

"What’s going on?"Deuce lost half his life and is still dizzy.

"Well, you don’t want to say you didn’t get the water, do you?"Jake tries to wring his tail. Today, he is about Shuini. Since he came to this world, he seems to have been splashed with all kinds of liquids. His soft and fluffy hair is messy, just like rushing out of the bathroom after a bath, shouting that he wants to eat canned tuna.

"Good question, I don’t know."Ace compared a 1, dignified look at us, "but I have a bad news to tell you."

"When I was in the air, I tried to use all the magic I could think of, but only the one I just succeeded. I couldn’t use magic anymore."

"The successful one, rather than being used, is more like being realized."

Ace wishes to be able to catch our water, and then cherish the mountains.

In this world, only my luck is more ridiculous than men’s mouth. It took me more than half a year to prove that my luck is worthless. If I was rolled into a towel and twisted, I could only explode two drops of extract. One drop told me why you didn’t die, and the other one told me why you didn’t die. Since this failed flight of impala can be rescued by the water from the sky, then aThe credibility of CE’s statement is at least not more outrageous than my intuition.

Four pairs of confused little eyes have a fierce communication through their eyes. The conclusion is simplified and simplified again. There are only seven words: "we are online dreaming". Since the most famous falling wake-up rule in the laws of dreams has failed to wake us up, the dream must have been true to the point of abiding by the rules of physics. To use a famous sentence to explain it, in the world of dreams, we can’t wake us upIn this world, people will die if they are killed.

I fell to the ground feebly and wanted to give up thinking, but Jiao Taro’s name was repeatedly mentioned in my consciousness with more and more frequent frequency. It was almost like someone was bombarding me with a super powerful speaker. It was said that the highest level of thinking about a person is to miss his name, and the highest level of loving a person is to shoutAs far as his name is concerned, I’m afraid it’s almost over now that I have no other ideas except Jiao taro.

Ace kicked me who was pretending to be dead: "Hey, supervisor, don’t sleep. Deuce said he made a bike."

Bicycle?

I always think that the greatest quality of human beings is the endless cover up and pursuit of laziness. All superstructures should serve the productive forces. The productive forces that most people rely on to survive and ensure their physical and mental health are sleeping, eating, playing beans, lying, never sitting, sitting, never standing, and never walking two more steps. Cycling is inevitableIt’s a masterpiece handed down from generation to generation.

It balances the delicate balance between delicate machinery and human constitution. After manufacturing, it does not need other fuels. In the era of steam engine, it still achieves the supreme quality of taking care of all age human’s motor reaction nerves and low-key luxury by using only dexterity. It is as clever as clumsy and indistinct as the world. It is the best tool of transportation.

So when I saw the tour bike shared by four people, and at the same time, I could only vaguely call Jake for help because my mouth was too wide open. I almost forgot that my vomit was still stuck on my sleeve. I jumped on the bike and swayed left and right. I was as stupid as a free ticket primary school student who came to travel with his parents. I was only five years old.

"How did you do that?"Jake put his palm on my chin and I asked deuce excitedly.

Deuce was more excited than me: "I just put my hands on the tree, and the tree becomes a bicycle!"

Given that ace can become a dragon king, it doesn’t seem like a big deal that deuce can rub a bicycle with his bare hands. We completely forget our narrow escape a few minutes ago. We started the iron man leap movement on the bumpy mountain road. This is a modified hitstorm, which is similar to Ferrari in the sports car industry and VIL in the modeling industry. If the back seat has four thin waists, long legs and white skinNen, a hot girl in a miniskirt and black silk, is sure to attract the eyes of countless passers-by. Unfortunately, we are the only ones in the car now, four in a mess.

Thirty minutes later, we arrived in the sparsely populated countryside, where the towering trees shrank into low shrubs. At the end of the horizon stood a simple villager in a blaze, eating a sandwich.

For the first time in my life, I want to see Idia, the autistic leader of ignihyde, for the first time in our life, showing his brilliant and powerful posture in front of us. In the Western fantasy world, we abandoned the white horse and chose to travel on the bicycle road, but he simply pulled out three big blue crystal computer screens to see the world view like a piece of bullshit.

"To make a long story short," he tucked the leftover sandwich into his pocket and snapped his handsome fingers. "I don’t know how you did it, but that console is called portable group star experience machine."

The present English is not very good, looking at Idia’s eyes as if listening to the book of heaven.

“Portable group star experience Machine, the portable star experience machine, was a popular multiplayer game machine for a period of time before. The principle is that by injecting magic, a certain number of users can experience the open adventure under the same world view together. However, because there have been several cases of players falling into eternal sleep and unable to wake up, most of them have been recycled by manufacturers in the past decade. "Idia’s eyes never open burst out with amazing light. The action of breaking the empty fingers seems to tear the starry sky. Countless data in my eyes and random code flash from the screen. With my poor vocabulary, I can only understand the words bad, death and disater.

"I don’t know what you’ve done, and I don’t want to know how you’ve done it. In short, the number of people involved in this world view has far exceeded your original plan - if you really have the original plan - according to the data I got from hacking into the system, none of the people involved in the game has complied with itI’ve learned the basic rules of the game. "

"The king launched a war against the dragon. The merchants refused to help the civilians. The villagers who provided equipment fled their hometown with their wealth. Now, er, there are no white horses and they are riding bicycles."

"In view of your lack of cooperation, the system is in a rage at present. It tries to force you to kill the Dragon immediately by destroying the whole continental plate, finish the process quickly, and everything will be OK."

At this moment, I would like to call Idia the strongest. His personal heroism in the computer field has become the strongest straw that I can grasp now. The housekeeper is ready to fight, as if the fate of all people in the game is in his hands, which are worth tens of millions of magic coins.

"Generally speaking, as long as the final task is solved, the game will end. But now the most important problem is that the system has gone rampant, and it doesn’t want to let us leave. Unless the home market maker of the game is awakened from the dream, no one can end the game."

"Now, none of us knows who is the real dreamer."

3

Walking along the palace trail to the depth, about 50 meters away from the gate, it’s a one-way road without forks. The whole body is painted with light gray, and there are three-dimensional Carved Walnut windows on the left and right sides. When malleus looks out, the vegetation is luxuriant, the willows are dark and the flowers are bright, and the golden sun is heavily oppressing the plants and flowers. All the objects are motionlessIn the middle of the garden, the path is covered with the shadow of PM2.5 exceeding the standard. Shengsheng breaks this perfect and false picture.

The dark green retro tassel curtains piled up elegant folds on the floor, but the dome for support could not be seen when looking up. The thorns were overgrown, and the gray rose leaves were dotted in the fine spines. Silver, who was leading him, was moving hard in his parrot suit, as if he would fall at any time.

Malleus takes his eyes back. It’s not the time to think about it. He should go to see Lilia.

*********

You can always trust Idia in the game, believe that even if he has no MP, he can show the miracle of God’s coming down to earth with a flat and coquettish move, believe that he can find one millionth of a frame to escape from the sky in the face of boss’s super clear full screen must kill skill, and believe that he can single pick a copy of 100 people’s purgatory even if his teammates die, as long as it is a world composed of data and code, IdiaThe Supreme God.

Therefore, at this moment, I have a fanatical to mindless worship for Idia. He said that the East will never go to the west, and he said that stealing dogs will never catch chickens. Since Idia said that the only solution is to wake up the unknown dreamer from Zhuang Zhou’s big dream, I have to let him understand the beauty of night life even if I beat gongs and drums and make the whole school teachers and students restless.

"As far as I know, the traditional process in the past should be to first accept the task at the king’s place, get the key to the castle after saving the villagers, gain the power to kill the dragon under the training of ordinary unknown masters passing by, and finally get the help of the merchants, and shout ‘don’t underestimate the human beings’, and then cut down the villain with a bang."For the first time, Idia talked so much in front of us that it was hard to avoid being thirsty. He licked his lips even more. "By the way, the king is VIL, the villager is Ruggie, the general expert is Xia, and the tourist is Azul. I can’t see the data code of the villain dragon. If it’s a dragon, it should be diasomnia."

Good guy, all the names are acquaintances. It seems that there is some truth in this identity, but I always feel that something is wrong. Deuce simply laughs out of face. He is very happy and beats ace on one side crazily: "Ruggie who gave away the treasure empty handed?"The merciful Azul?"

Ace also laughed: "you might as well tell us that supervisor Sheng is a brave man, who can set up thousands of mind and strength in one body and bombard the castle of the dragon with a magic guide."

Idia grinned and followed them with a grin: "he is a brave man."

The laughter stopped abruptly.

I was caught unprepared by Tianjiang’s great responsibility. I thought I could paddle and be a vegetable chicken, but I was told that the regular team members couldn’t have diarrhea today. In view of your good attitude of squatting at the water dispenser every day, it’s better to try this time.

God knows I didn’t even take part in a training session before I went on the court. Under the attention of all the people, I’m more likely to fish in troubled waters than a chicken crowding into a flock of cranes on stilts.

Idia snapped her fingers. The computer screen, which used to be quieter than a pigeon, suddenly expanded. It was like three agarics soaking in tea. It was vertically arranged into an umbrella like structure that blocked the sky and the sun. Not far away, the dense mountain forest, which used to be a place for us to have fun with our parents and children, was on fire. It was slowly approaching with the posture of cat playing with mouse. It seemed that I could see that the system was too good to beatHis smiling face seems to be mocking our unruly and stupid human beings.

What’s more, its radio almost made me think that I really had a bad feeling with taro. It took Doki a long time to know that it was a complete nonsense. I was ordered to take the chicken feather as the command arrow. In addition, the left and right Dharma protectors were all in front of me, and there was such a big backer behind me. So I didn’t have to be afraid to beat up. How can I afford not to pull out the hair of this immoral systemWhat’s my status as a little laoliao leader?

"I suggest you find the key characters in the plot as soon as possible. I’ve fixed the game features of each of you. In a word, first stabilize the basic process, then don’t pay attention to the details. Rush into the castle, kill the boss and over."Idia’s fingers are flying like a butterfly. It’s impossible for him not to be single for 18 years to have such a hand speed. He skips over the buttons that should be touched. Before my visual nerve transmits the signal back to his brain, he has pushed his battlefield to the second or even the third or fourth stage.

"As for me, just add a little trouble to the system," said the invincible king of the Internet. He opened his mouth, revealing a row of gloomy shark teeth. He stood there, facing the mighty flames, just like Prometheus holding the fire in his hands. "Gentlemen, the war has begun."

No matter what kind of shells can be fired through the idea of the Revolver - only one chance, used up to scrap; three times the desire to achieve the possibility - the way to achieve the conditions is completely out of control, it is very likely that we jumped off the cliff at the beginning of the situation; everything will be turned into the hands of their own wants - deuce’s imagination is only enough to make him into a pot and magic guide car; as long as you knowThe name of the Tao can be transmitted to other people’s places regardless of distance. With the use of Jake, it will gradually lose its human appearance, and then it will not be able to start again, and it will be used and cherished.

The fire is coming. We solemnly raise our left hand and salute the elder Idia at the rear of the fearless hall. The flat ground at our feet suddenly turns into a bottomless void. According to the order, the first stop is next to King VIL.

It turns out that we parachuted at a wrong time. Just after landing, the sky was full of arrows. I was so scared that I screamed. On the spot, I threw a tiger into the ground and put my head in my hands. I just wanted to have a large number of adults Idia. I added a Resurrection system to help us. When the flashing arrow hit me, I found that the seemingly lethal arrow was actually made of gumYes, there is a layer of edible silver foil on the outside. It looks very lifelike.

I got up as if nothing had happened, coughed twice to hide my embarrassment, patted the ash on my knee, pretended that I was blind and couldn’t see ace’s scorn. Jake waved his front paw uncomfortably, and his limbs were covered with animal’s unique fur, which looked very good.

It’s a battlefield. In fact, both sides of the war are heartbreaking. On the left side, it’s like a vegetable uprising in a greenhouse. Cucumbers, bananas, plums, pears, turnips, parsley, squash and celery, vegetarians who were originally responsible for supplying people with vitamins, have grown hands and feet one after another. They hold knives, spears, axes and axes made of soft sugar. They look fierce. On the right side, there’s a pile of hair that I’ll never find in a dollPlush dolls, rabbits, cats and tigers, with shields and spears made of plasticine.Although the two sides are not strong enough, they have more than enough heart to shoot the animation story in a bloody battle.

Deuce put his hands in a circle, and his mouth beeped, as if turning himself into an electric microscope. A moment later, deuce took off in the same place, and his eyes were almost staring out. He crazily shook my shoulder and pointed to a place: "master VIL is there!"

I completely forgot how timid I was just now. I laughed at the small pattern of deuce. I was surprised to see the fight between melons and fruits. Unexpectedly, when I just looked in the direction of his fingers, I gave myself a slap on the spot and scolded myself for being a fool. Tears came out of the corner of my mouth and ran all over the floor.

All I saw was an ancient Greek cross bandeo. His long skirt was loose, and his hair was high in the wind. He stepped on the ground with 13 cm thin high heels. The heel tip could directly poke my eyes. The leg length was at least 4.5 feet. He was slender and tight. He stood in a crowd of melons, fruits and vegetables. He was holding a snake halberd and strategizing. Facing the enemy composed of puppets and animals, he was like a snakeIt’s the face of a great general.

VIL, why don’t you change your name to Athena!Beautiful and able to fight goddess!

When he saw us, he sighed. His eyebrows showed obvious helplessness: "potato meeting?"

It’s worthy of being a goddess. People boast so much. He’s calling me potato!

I was blinded by beauty, suddenly picked up the shame that I had thrown away eight hundred years ago, wriggled, and didn’t hold a word for a long time. Ace saw that I couldn’t use it, so he just supported my position as captain of the brave and waved to VIL: "elder!Give us the next task to fight against the dragon!We are in a hurry to catch up

VIL made a quick decision. Obviously, he was fed up with being king of a bunch of vegetables. After a night’s challenge, his patience was exhausted. However, he still showed excellent actor quality: "fearless brave people!I’m here to give you the greatest glory. Raise your sword and drive the dragon out of the world

Then the beauty turned to attack, and her tone was not good. Spartan tutor showed her style: "I have a very important shooting activity tomorrow. Do you know how serious the consequences would be if my skin condition fell down due to lack of sleep?"

We quickly nodded like a chicken pecking rice. Without delay, we immediately sent it to the next place.

In front of me, there was the paratrooper No.1 supervisor who parachuted the poison ring, and then there was the underground organization to fight with gunfire. As soon as I stood firm under my feet, my cheek suddenly hurt, and I reached out and touched my face. The blood was bright red. Yeah, it was still hot.

I’m still immersed in the beauty of VIL just now. I don’t have a clear understanding of the current grim situation. M249, zb26, qbz95, qsz92, and all kinds of military guns fill the window frame of this pawnshop style shop. If ace didn’t press me to the ground quickly, it would not be the vase behind us, but the brain melon seeds that I don’t know very well.

Without waiting for the commander’s command, after a silence longer than an instant, the crackling gunfire lashed my eardrum. It took half a minute for the gunfire performance to stop. The commander’s anger did not subside, the sound of ammunition loading was heard all the time, and the machine crashed. The bullet case that was passing by my cheek fell at my feet, and the smoke was everywhere. My eyes were filled with tears and I couldn’t help cryingGod asked, "what’s the matter?"

We are going to find Ruggie. Why is Azul lying on the ground with us now?

The unscrupulous businessman still had his flat frame eyes, which seemed to have nothing to do with him. He was even in the mood to change his posture, lay on the ground, straightened his collar, and calmly replied, "in short, when Ruggie came to me with the golden key for trading, he thought that the price I paid for the key was too low and looked down on its gold content, so he took out his gunBeat Ruggie to death, and it looks like it’s going to beat me to death together. "

I don’t think it’s about the price, Azul. There’s something wrong with you.

4

There is no lamp in the palace. With a silent pace, the French windows that provide lighting quietly exit. Darkness can’t bring malleus any fear. The vision of the goblin is enough to make him see things like day in the deepest night, but he can’t see silver.

Young people wearing funny parrot puppets are like melting in a quiet corridor. They are unknowable, inaudible, imperceptible, and inaudible. The steps made of black jade hover on the hollow stone pillars, as if the pilgrims can kowtow one step at a time to get the way of God’s pity. They are alone in pursuit of hearsay rumors. Huge birdcage like buildings hang on the top of the stone pillars and cover the skyThe dark crystal crisscross on the outside of the cage. It is obvious that the construction teams are not in a good mood during the construction, making this exquisite decoration into such a dangerous appearance.

The haunted young man stood on the middle of the steps and looked at malleus with a smile. Seeing that he didn’t seem to speak first, he had to shrug his shoulders: "it’s so easy for me to see your dream once. Malleus, why are you so cold."

From the eyes of Wang, who he served, he saw the obvious incomprehension. He was at a loss when he met the electronic equipment: "dream?"

I didn’t wake up.

"Nothing," Lilia didn’t plan to wake him up. As an adult, she rarely reveals her true thoughts in front of him. The chance is rare. He wants to see more. "I’ve said that many times. It’s time for you to have a good experience of campus life. Do you want to try opening an extra window in the room?"

"No, I think it’s good now."

They are parallel in the endless steps, together to the empty hall center.

**********

In the age of cold weapons, it’s really suspected that Barrett is cheating when he suddenly takes out a room full of leeks. When he enters the novice village to experience life, he knows that he should not make big moves. After scaring away the new leeks, where can he find the game experience?

But the key doesn’t care about these. The key just wants to twist us to make a series of nine links. Why do you want five key rings with one key?Do you plan to hang up one day on weekdays and take turns on weekends?The wind of extravagance is not, material indulgence is the beginning of spiritual depravity!

We were five men with lofty ideals. Qi qiser was huddled under a single bed board, just like a herring that was crammed into a can of herring. Even if we squeeze a little bit, what’s the matter with a machine gun if we can’t cram our tail in?Although I’ve been eating a little more recently, I don’t think the meat on my stomach is too much to be heartless, do I?

I tried to free up a hand and made a gesture to the unscrupulous businessman: "no insider, the transaction continues. We made the key, you drop, and trigger the progress of your and Ruggie’s tasks. Finish the boss early and go back to bed early."

Azul obviously feels that this is not decent. He always plays empty handed with the White Wolf, trying to get the best interests with the least cost. All the interpretation rights belong to him. The black and white holes in the contract are well dug. It’s a pity that the four present have never eaten pork and have seen pigs running. They know that Azul can’t open this mouth, just because of the favorable time, place and peopleThen he deprived the octopus of the right to speak.

With a standard capture, deuce takes Azul by the throat and turns his tongue into a mosquito. He agrees

Ace took the opportunity to break off the fingers of the unscrupulous businessman: "you see, he compared a V, absolutely agreed!"

The only conscience Jake, as his head has become a wolf and he can’t set a good example, simply set an example by rolling Azul’s waist with his tail, and took him on the spot, leaving the battlefield.

When it comes to forced buying and forced selling, once you’ve been born, twice you’ve been familiar with it. Everyone is not a good person. Don’t blame us for being cruel.

The banging and banging can’t hide the key’s ears and eyes. As soon as the handle is bent, bullets are pouring in. There’s no time to discuss tactics. I fly out, dip in the wet blood on my face and wipe out a few letters on the floor.

Y GO S 2 B 1

I couldn’t do it in the exam, but I swear to God that I never thought of cheating, not to mention taking notes. I didn’t dare to raise my head more than 30 degrees when writing papers, for fear that the poodle’s whip would fall on my desk, and the deafening sound would make me pee in my pants.

Therefore, it’s really a challenge for me to play the code for the first time, and it’s also a little exciting for my heart. In fact, what I want to say is: you go to deliver, 2 guarantees and 1 guarantee.If my unknown English teacher saw it, he would make me forget the alphabet all my life.

I was worried that ACE and deuce couldn’t understand such an abstract way of artistic expression. I didn’t think that the world’s academic scum was the same family. We three had been together for such a long time. We didn’t know each other well, but at least they had the same bad taste. They actually understood what I was talking about. They were really good brothers, even if they knew I was not reliableBlack sheep, but still with complete trust in me, standing in the range of the key.

The best targets jumped out by themselves. There was no reason not to hit the key. Seventy two guns I couldn’t name constituted a huge ammunition fortress. The smoke of gunpowder filled the room, and the sparks of bullets lit up most of the room.

Deuce was shot. At the critical moment, deuce put his hands together and patted the carpet with an alchemist’s posture. The cauldron rose up and stopped between deuce and the bullet. The metal clattering sound came one after another. Ace jumped out from behind him and yelled: "I hope all the weapons aimed at us will be scrapped."

Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang.

Ace, can you do it!How to realize the wish is still short of weight!

I know there must be something wrong with my eardrum. It’s unknown whether there will be any sequelae. The most urgent thing is to break the key of the rascal who dares to stop me.

Do you think you have a gun?

I didn’t expect it. I have it, too!

I lifted up my loose trousers, took out an exquisite revolver from the leather bag tied to my thigh, half knelt on the ground, aimed with one eye, and straightened my arms. Countless snow-white magic particles gathered at the muzzle of the gun. The dark blue flame, like a storm that brought torrential rain, converged into a twisted turbine in front of me. The handle of the gun made me show my teeth. The palm of my hand must be blistered, and there must be a hole in itIt’s a big scar, but I can’t let it go.

Life and death are on the line, and at the critical moment, the supervisor never straddles.

Bang——

The white magic guide beam soared into the sky, dispersing large clouds blocking the sky and covering the brightness of the sun. I was shocked by the impact force and fell two meters away. My hips hurt and my right hand couldn’t move. It was obviously dislocated.

The valiant key completely dissipated in the light of the fourth scientific and technological revolution, along with several kilometers of blackened ditches, half of the beam fell down, and most of the roof that I blasted off was scattered all over the ground.

Ace and I looked at each other. At that time, we went to avenge my disfigurement. We didn’t know how to enter the castle without the key?

Azul easily broke free from Jake’s imprisonment and was sneezed by Wolf’s hair. I wanted to laugh at what he looked like in a gray way. But he could not laugh * his cheeks moved, and his ears hurt like a bite from a worm, with a wound that was rubbed open by a bullet. I grin my teeth, and Ace came up to me and said something. I couldn’t hear clearly, so I had to giggle.

It’s said that losing a certain touch will make other organs more sensitive. My ears are probably the body. My eyes are full of blood. I can’t wipe it clean, but I don’t feel any pain. When I look down, I find that the blood doesn’t flow from the top of my head. How can I wipe my face clean with the palm of my skin.

A few of them held a small group meeting behind my back for 80 beats of time. They didn’t know what conditions they had reached with Azul. Ace pulled me up from the ground and slowly mouthed me: "let’s go, play boss."

My left hand, which I can still move, is stuffed with a shabby small pistol. It’s no more exquisite than the revolver that can fire a single magic gun. Ace should have done it for me with his last wish. My nose is sore, and I hasten to hold back my tears. Although there is no mirror, I can know how colorful my face is now by imagination. Add some salt water to help me. I will be on stage laterIt’s time to sing Huadan.

What is a brother? This is a brother. Even if you fart all day long, you can still fight for my words at a critical moment. Although thousands of people will die.

Our terminal is outside the castle of the dragon, a huge egg shaped building covered with thorns and black crystal. Without a key, the system will never let us in.

Jake has become a giant silver wolf, the one with four claws on the ground. He lowers his head and motions me to sit on him. Deuce takes a horse step, holds his breath and makes a sound like constipation. Then he drinks loudly - I still can’t hear it - and claps his hands on Jake’s head.

He is really a genius who can work miracles only by instinct. He turns decay into magic. His flesh and bones are made of silica. Jake looks up at the sky and roars. The surreal metal armor with the same color as his hair covers the whole body of the silver wolf. His hind limbs are lined with eight rows of radiator tubes. His dual core turbocharging system, SOHC engine, and the engine doesn’t move. His amazing explosive power makes Jake have the ability to take me to a leapTen thousand meters high, we regard gravity as empty talk.

The hunting wind tore my wound so painful that I drew a bright red track in the air. Through the translucent crystal barrier, I saw that the dragon, who let the system curse and hate, was still standing in the absolute shadow. His face was quiet and spotless, like a sleeping child, but his lips were tightly pursed.

He stood there, but his soul seemed to have wandered the whole lonely universe.

At the highest point of the arc movement, Jake turned to bite the corner of my coat and threw me right above the hall.

Fall.

Fall.

Fall.

I fell against the thorns that could pierce my internal organs. It was as cold as the fire of Zeus, and I rushed to my final destination. It didn’t matter if I was reduced to nothingness or ashes. It was not enough for me to die without reincarnation.

Roar, howl, blood and tears flow together, until the hoarse.

Shout, roar, drain all the power in the flesh and marrow.

This small pistol can never reproduce the glory of shooting flies just now.

But enough to carry all my expectations.

The index finger shakes gently.

press the trigger.

"Jiaotaro!"

He looked up in amazement.

"The story is happy ending!"

Countless golden roses burst out from the muzzle of the gun, carrying the sparkling sunshine, and rashly burst into the night of Yongning.

  
[Conclusion]

The next day, I woke up from the floor with backache and tinnitus. There were four people in the room. They were sleeping like a dead pig without a quilt. But I had a bad cold. I yawned in crewel’s class and was fined twice as much homework.

As I wailed my old arms and legs, I was lying on the bed to copy books. The game machine was finally given to Idia and left the game. This guy’s social fear intensified, and ortho was responsible for handing over things.

Occasionally, Lilia "happened" to go in the wrong direction on weekends, and "happened" to run for an extra hour, then "happened" to pass by the door of xiaopaoliao, and "happened" to stand with me in the cold wind, he drank tomato juice, I drank nutrition express, Gulu Gulu finished in one breath, and then went back home.

I didn’t know why we went into Jiao Taro’s dream from the beginning to the end, and I seldom met him since then. I can’t remember the details of the dream, but there was a sign on the door of mostro lounge that said "no dog or supervisor".

Stinky octopus is really mean.

I throw the bottle of nutrition express into the garbage can and plan to continue to play cards with ace all night tonight. If I lose, I will harass Azul and steal. It’s said that it’s his latest purchase of Lafite of ‘82.

任凭天打雷劈，狂风大作，我，Ace，Deuce，Jake，四人之间却陷入了诡异的宁静之中。

以常理而言，此时此刻，我们本应在宿舍里当个乖巧好孩子，十点睡觉，七点起床，Jake会起得更早一点，因为他还要出去晨练。

我相信正常情况下，任何一本史书中都不会记录着，深夜十二点，天晴烂漫，晴空暖暖，监督生和她的好朋友们穿着传统RPG式的勇者公式服，站在即将坍塌的高空栈道上，选择通往哪一条赴死之路。

这是多么适合写荒诞现实主义的小说画面。

左是血狱烈火，烧焦的人类手臂在浓稠的番茄汤中起起伏伏。

右是剧毒迷沼，深绿色的雾气不断从咕噜咕噜破裂的气泡中飘散开来。

身前悬崖骤跌，一眼望不到底。

身后巨口虎视眈眈，以优雅且不紧不慢的速度缓缓逼近我们。

我双腿打颤，十分娘们儿地攥着衣角，下唇几乎要被咬出血，天空自我的脚后跟开始被划分为像个人样和不像个人样，崩塌的空间碎片外是挣扎扭曲的躯体，仿佛章鱼的触爪，又像在火焰中翻滚的肉身，怪物们被包裹在薄膜中，随着每一次角度的变化而呈现出不同的样貌，肉块纠缠，散发着新鲜的味道，热气凝聚成水雾，也许是口腔的器官中潮鸣迭起。

“真交给我来选啊。”

我绝望地说。

“不交给你交给谁！”其他三人异口同声道。

******

小考结束后的当晚，Ace和Deuce强行拉着Jake来我房间通宵玩纸牌，当时我正在忙着做家常臭豆腐，口感不足，像已经融化的奶昔，但是气味有余，方圆百里千山鸟飞绝，万径人踪灭，屎壳郎们寻味而来又失望而去，对人类如此不尊重生灵的欺骗行径做出了它们最大限度的鄙视，Jake本来挺高兴白天考得不错，结果刚进门，差点被臭豆腐熏得朝闻道而夕死矣，其他两人还以为是老旧的下水道工程彻底报废，导致小破寮粪坑炸了。

Ace驾轻就熟地跑去厕所拿空气清新剂，这厮来小破寮的次数已经不是双手双脚可以数清楚的了，下了课脚一拐，到我房间的路比到他自己家还熟，Deuce则呆在原地，抓着Jake的手，领带围在脸上当医护口罩，声嘶力竭地喊着：“用力！用力！保持呼吸！能看见孩子的头了！”

妈的，你们生理课上到底学了些什么东西。

我火速把一溜材料扔进冰箱眼不见为净，用脚踢上门，再跑到基本没怎么收拾过的储藏室里拿急救呼吸机，Jake过了好一会儿才缓回来，他告诉我们昏倒的时候他仿佛看到了天堂，七杰慈祥的面孔纷纷从他面前飘过，耳边是亚萨西美式男声独唱的校歌，而他过世多年的祖奶奶正手捧洋黎蜜饯招呼着他去吃。

我同情地在胸前画了一个十字，愿天堂没有Leona。

闹剧结束后我们正式开始打牌，四个人轮流上场，玩儿的是我现场魔改的斗地主，其规则主要由我是否坐庄和我手中拿得是什么牌决定，ACE作为·唯一一个有可能且有实力出老千的职业选手，在我们的强烈要求下被扒光了上衣，并且由Grim亲自下场，用猫肚肚封印了他的右手。

“你们不用这么夸张吧……”小破寮四面楚歌，八面漏风，Ace瑟瑟发抖，手中的扑克组成一把半弧，间距均匀，每每出牌时两指微抖，便有一张扑克宛如秋风扫落叶，平稳地落在牌堆顶端。

“你这样一点说服力都没有兄弟！”这把我是地主，手牌上优，开局一个顺子，小王在手两个炸，要是把这个K换成J，这把将是绝杀，可惜换不得。

我膨胀得像庆典上用来放飞的热气球，三轮下来手中已然见底，甚至颇有心情的让Jake给Deuce泡了杯咖啡，狼人非常豪爽的用热水瓶泡了一大壶，差点用光了我所有的速溶存货。

单走一个K，再接一个2，Ace手上还有17张牌，我放出豪言壮语，拿明天的蛋包饭做担保，他必不可能秒我。

奈何我在扭曲仙境呆了太久，眼见听闻都是梦回1997年的魔幻冒险，已然忘却了麻瓜界的造化弄人，老天爷最爱做的事情就是在人类沾沾自喜的时候对着他们的屁股狠狠来上一脚，下一秒，我又被迫回想起了那位不败之神，饕餮巨口的传说。

“飞机！”Ace以一副众生平等的姿态摊开右手，17张牌如花飞花落，把我的蛋包饭带走的同时，还带走了我作为赌注的6颗怪味豆。

现场一度十分安静。

“我们把他的裤子也扒了罢。”我沉痛道。

俗话说得好，玩游戏就是要啸着玩，痛苦面具戴在别人脸上总好过戴在自己脸上，友谊第一，比赛第二，斤斤计较的心态是不会带来笑容的，于是我们一拥而上，视Ace的惨叫于无物，动手就要去扯他的裤子，一片混乱中，Deuce没喝完的咖啡洒得满地都是，牌是打不下去了，我们的深夜活动变成了撅起屁股跪在地上拿抹布擦地板。

二楼的台阶总是不太结实，常年荒废下的热胀冷缩导致只要我一低头，就能看到底下谈话室斑驳的全貌，我向亚萨西提出了多次抗议都没得到明确的修缮回复，每每下楼梯都走得心惊胆战，生怕这嘎吱作响的物件下一秒就会寿终正寝，塌成一堆给我当棺材板都嫌不够结实的朽木。

Jake就着凉水搓自己湿了一半的上衣，Deuce在开冰箱拿柠檬汁的时候又被熏了个跟头，我跑去储藏室看咖啡有没有从楼上滴下来，里面的东西都是前辈们懒得收拾的老物件，毕业时也没有带走，就这么堆在小破寮里，其中部分非常容易发霉或者长虫子，曾经有一回我在半夜蹲坑的时候目睹了蟑螂们的深夜食堂，据Grim所说，那天我的尖叫声像是见到了穿着比基尼跳钢管舞的亚萨西。

储藏室里没有灯，我开着手机手电筒照明，光线昏暗得非常像凶杀现场，Ace死性不改，保住了自己的裤腰带后跟Grim跑下来看我在干什么。

我深知只要这两人在一起就准没好事，警告他们不许东摸西碰，可是Ace手比眼快，我的警告从左耳进去，再原封不动地从右边出来，他乐乐呵呵的从一堆纸箱子里摸出了一台掌上游戏机，在我的巴掌落下来前迅速窜回二楼，招呼一群人速来研究上个世纪的老古董。

“这玩意儿还能开机吗？”Ace好奇地把游戏机翻了个面，“没看到开关键。”

“好像也没有操作键盘，外设式的？”Deuce冥思苦想。

Jake仿佛看天书似的看着我们，没人指望他会认识。

“快点放回去！”我据理力争，奈何谁都没听我的。

“那就用魔法试一试！”Grim高声欢呼，它充分发挥了没有脑子就别动脑子的本事，以焚尽世间万物的中二口号当成了人生信条，尾巴一甩，大团幽蓝的火焰直直冲向游戏机。

“卧槽你等等！”不详的预感陡升，我以一个标准的鲤鱼打挺飞扑向Grim，可是人类的身体终归是有极限的，仿佛Deuce的大锅从天而降，与我们每个人的脑袋都来了场轰轰烈烈的亲密接触，我的眼前骤然一黑，隐约听到了此起彼伏的重物落地声。

2

Malleus极少做梦。

妖精们素来是多梦的种族，梦幻与现实之前的界限在极高的魔力适应力下化为过眼云烟，漫长到无法计数的生命也实在是太过无趣，不乏有以天地为席被，就地一躺便能睡得不省人事者，但Malleus不是。

自成年后Malleus就没有再做过梦了，幼时的记忆氤氲成清水中的浊墨，浅淡而飘忽，伸手也无法触及。

但现在他觉得自己似乎忽略了什么事情。

荆棘之谷的预备役国王慢慢睁开眼，从由像素涂鸦组成的床铺上翻身而起，窗外太阳高悬，玻璃花窗上纹印着嗷呜嗷呜小龙的各角度画像，童趣得像十二岁以下人类幼崽才能进入的儿童游乐区，Silver恭敬地站在门前，低着头向他请示：“王，父亲大人正在等您。”

Malleus略微疑惑地眨了眨眼，他若有所思地低下头，看到自己身上还是熟悉的校园制服。

然后再看了看Silver。

“王？时间不多了，”年轻的侍卫略显担忧，“您是觉得身体不适吗？”

“不，我马上就去。”Malleus还是决定说出口。

“可是，Silver，今天是愚人节吗？为什么你会穿得像一只直立行走的青蓝金刚鹦鹉？”

*****

都说女人的第六感是世界上最灵验的占卜指南，尤其是在抓奸逼供聊八卦的时候，从领口的香水味到手机的第二储存空间，她们的反侦察与执行能力能让福尔摩斯都自愧不如，但鉴于我的存在就是为了证明人类物种的下限所在，单选题试卷的得分永远都只能在个位数左右浮动，真可谓往试卷上撒把米，食堂中午用来做饭的老母鸡得分都比我高，因此一年级生们特喜欢来找我做占卜。

三项单选题以内，排除一项我的第一直觉，排除一项我的深思熟虑，得出来的必然是最优解。

监督生反买，别墅靠海，别跟我讲其他的，直接梭哈，不把我裤裆都赢干净就是不给我面子。

此刻我左手边的血池红得像白雪公主手中的苹果，右手边的毒沼绿得像哈姆雷特他老爹头上的绿帽，颜色鲜艳，怎么看怎么不像是可以逃出生天的样子，而我那除了卖主无一他用的直觉正在敲锣打鼓欢天喜地，推搡着我的双腿往后溜之大吉，答案已经很明显了，我以悲壮且大无畏的气势指挥Ace他们：“跳！”

我承认这一跳我有赌的成分，可俗话说得好，好死不如赖活着，祸害还能遗千年之久，在场四大才子，三个是直接拖出去枪毙都不嫌过分的混世魔王，若是真的英年早逝了都对不起他们打碎的那价值十亿魔币的魔法灯，Deuce在最不合时宜的时候展现出了他惊人的愣头青天赋，未等其他两人再迂回作业一番，这斯已然拖家带口，口中高呼着“我明白了”，拽着所有人的领带跳了下去。

“我希望下面有足够深的水池。”Ace红茶色的短发被呼啸的风吹出了爆炸效果，他冷静得不似一个正在无保险高空蹦迪的自杀人士，而我扯开嗓子的惨叫仿佛正在遭受五马分尸的酷刑，Jake一言不发，脸色惨白，人生百态在我们的身上展现得淋漓尽致，嬉笑怒骂贪嗔痴，走马灯仿佛脱缰的野兔，以答卷上每秒八十千米行走老奶奶的速度在我脑海中来回滚动，是否会摔成一滩混合酱料已经不是我能够掌控的事情了，这一刻我能想到的却只有角太郎。

没有任何理由，我突然觉得我应该去找他。

跳悬崖这件事，1米扭伤脚踝，5米摔断小腿，10米带上脊椎，但100米和1000米的距离就没那么清晰了，结局反正只有粉身碎骨这一个选择，高低与否反倒变成了优先级最低的衡量标准，我从一开始的鬼哭狼嚎变得有心情和Deuce对手指比数字，凑整成10就收回一只手，反复玩儿了十几遍遍，精神小伙一次都没赢过，Jake在半空中打起了盹，他困得要命，耳朵垂成水平线，一抖一抖的，Ace若有所思的看着我们，先指指天，再指指地，最后戳了戳我。

“监督生，”他神神秘秘地凑近我的耳朵，“我给你变个魔术。”

魔术？这个东西我喜欢看啊！我立刻抛下Deuce，聚精会神地看着Ace，想看看他能给我玩儿出什么新花样，只见一级生盘腿而坐，双手成莲，以一副圣洁不可高攀的样子庄严地抬起下颌，眼睛微眯：“神说，要有光。”

轰——

他有没有召唤出光，我不在乎，但我觉得再这么任由他继续胡闹下去，我可能会先一步变成光。

无边无际的洪水，像是Kalim挥洒的钱币一样冲破了无形的堤防，化身成饕餮的水龙，巨口怒张，将我们整个吞没，Jake骤然惊醒，尾巴咻地竖起，作为夜鸦学院唯二的良心担当，他第一时间在这水龙卷中找回了平衡，并一把把我捞回了阵型，避免了本手无缚鸡之力的菜鸡变成白斩鸡的命运。

我不知道Ace还有乌鸦嘴这个属性，you jump，I jump的戏码前他那句祈祷般的话语竟然成了真，从天而降的洪水将已经肉眼可见的平原冲刷成粗制滥造的人工湖，我被迎面而来的水龙巴掌打了个七荤八素，刚半拉半游地爬上陆地，就趴在Ace肩膀上狂吐不止，Ace浑身恶寒，生怕我一个方向没对准弄脏他的衣服，一点兄弟情面都不讲。

我们四人瘫在斜坡岸边，像四条搁浅的鱼，个个翻着白眼，喝了一肚子的水，真切体会到了什么叫做我们不是大自然的生产者，而是大自然的搬运工。

“到底是怎么回事？”Deuce丢了半条小命，到现在还是晕晕乎乎的。

“喂，你不会想说那水不是你弄来的吧？”Jake试着拧干自己的尾巴，今天的他约莫水逆，从来到这个世界前就好像一直在被各种液体泼，原本柔软蓬松的毛发凌乱不堪，活像洗澡洗到一半从浴室冲出来嚷着想吃金枪鱼罐头的Grim。

“问得好，我也不知道。”Ace比了个1，凝重地看着我们，“但我有一个坏消息想告诉你们。”

“在空中的时候，我试着使用了所有我能想到的魔法，但只成功了刚才那一个，我没办法使用魔法了。”

“而成功的那一个，确切的说不是使用出来，更像是被实现了出来。”

Ace许愿想要能够接住我们的水，然后怀山襄陵。

这个世界上比男人的嘴更离谱的就只有我的运气，而我用了半年多的时间来证明我的运气一文不值，把我卷成毛巾拧巴拧巴，约莫只能炸出来两滴提取物，一滴叫你为什么没死，一滴叫你为什么还没死，既然这场失败的斑羚飞渡都能被天降的大水强行救回来，那么Ace此言的可信度至少不会比我的直觉更加离谱。

四双迷茫的小眼睛通过视线进行了一场激烈的交流，得出的结论精简精简再精简，只有“我们在联机做梦”这七个大字，既然梦境几大定律中最著名的下坠式唤醒法则都没能把我们唤醒，那这个梦必然已经真实到了遵守物理守则的地步，用一句著名的话来解释，在这个世界，人被杀，就会死。

我虚弱无力地倒在地上，无比的想要放弃思考，可角太郎的名字却以越来越频繁的频率在我的意识中被反复提及，简直像是有人拿着超大功率喇叭在我周身狂轰滥炸，叭叭叭念叨个不停，据说思念一个人的最高境界就是会想念他的名字，爱一个人最高的境界也是喊他的名字，以我现在满脑子除了角太郎就没有其他想法的状况而言，我怕是差不多要完蛋了。

Ace踢了踢正在装死的我：“欸，监督生，别睡了，Deuce说他搞出来一辆自行车。”

自行车？

我向来觉得人类最伟大的品质就是对偷懒这一行为无尽的掩饰和追求，一切上层建筑都应对生产力服务，而大部分人赖以活命和保证生理心理健康双保险的生产力就是睡觉，吃饭，打豆豆，能躺着绝不坐着，能坐着绝不站着，能站着绝不迈腿多走两步，自行车必然是其中的传世之作。

它平衡了精妙机械以及人类体质之间微妙的平衡，制造后无需其他燃料，在蒸汽机横空出世的时代，却依然做到了仅使用机巧便能达到照顾全年龄人类运动反应神经和低调奢华兼具的无上品质，大巧若拙，隐隐于世，是代步工具中的翘楚。

所以当我看到那辆四人共骑的旅游自行车，同时因为嘴巴张得太大导致脱臼，只能含糊不清地喊Jake救我的时候，我简直忘记了方才的呕吐物还糊在袖口，跳上自行车左晃右晃，白痴得像一个跟着家长过来旅游的免票小学生，年龄只有五岁。

“你怎么搞出来的？”Jake一掌安上我的下巴，我兴奋地问Deuce。

Deuce比我更兴奋：“我就，双手按在树上一拍，树就变成自行车了欸！”

鉴于Ace都能变成呼风唤雨的龙王，那么Deuce能徒手搓自行车似乎也不是什么大事，我们全然忘记了几分钟前的死里逃生，在颠簸的山路上开始了铁人跃迁运动，这是一辆人为改装式的HITSTORM，相当于跑车界的法拉利，模特界的VIL，如果后座上横四个腰细腿长，皮肤白嫩，穿着超短裙和黑丝的辣妹，想来必能吸引无数路人的眼睛，可惜现在车上只有我们，四个狼狈不堪的落汤鸡。

三十分钟后我们到达了人迹稀少的郊外，参天巨树一颗颗缩水成低矮的灌木丛，地平线尽头站着一位发如烈火的朴素村民，正在吃一块三明治。

我生平第一次这么想见到Idia，Ignihyde的自闭寮长头一次在我们面前展现出了运筹帷幄英明神武的架势，西方幻想世界中，我们抛弃了白马，选择踩着自行车公路旅行，而他干脆掏出来三大块蓝晶电脑屏幕，视世界观如一通狗屁。

“长话短说，”他将吃剩的三明治塞进口袋，打了个帅气的响指，“虽然不知道你们是怎么做到的，但是那台游戏机叫做Portable group star experience machine。”

在场的英语都不怎么好，看Idia的眼神仿佛在听天书。

“Portable group star experience machine，连携式群星体验机，以前流行过一段时间的多人游戏机，原理是通过注入魔力，使得一定数量的使用者能够共同体验同一个世界观下的开放性冒险，但因为出过几次玩家陷入永眠无法醒来的案例，近十年已经被厂家回收大部分了。”Idia永远睁不开的双眼中爆发出惊人的光芒，手指破空的动作仿若能撕裂星空，无数在我眼中与乱码无疑的数据自屏幕上飞速闪现，以我贫瘠的词汇含量，我只能看懂BAD，DEATH，DISATER这几个单词。

“我不知道Ace氏你们到底做了什么，也不想知道你们是怎么做到的，总之，现在被卷入这个世界观中的人数已经远远超过了你们原定的人数——如果你们真的有原定计划这种东西的话——通过我黑入系统得到的数据而言，现在所有被卷入游戏中的人，没有一个遵守了基本的游戏法则。”

“国王向恶龙发起战争，游商拒绝对平民提供帮助，提供装备的村民拿着财富逃离了自己的家乡，而勇者和他的小伙伴们，现在，呃，没有白马，在骑自行车。”

“鉴于你们的不配合做法，目前系统正在暴跳如雷，它试图通过毁灭整个大陆板块的方式逼迫你们立刻去杀死恶龙，赶紧把流程走完，万事大吉。”

此时此刻，我愿称Idia为最强，他在计算机领域的个人英雄主义成为了我现在能抓住的最粗壮的救命稻草，宅系寮长摩拳擦掌，一副准备大干一场的架势，仿佛游戏中所有人的命运都掌控在他那双价值千万魔币的手上，明察秋毫得一塌糊涂。

“通常来说，只要把最终任务解决掉，这场游戏就算结束，但现在最重要的问题是，系统已经暴走，它完全不想就这么放我们离开，除非把这游戏所处的主场庄家从梦境中叫醒，否则谁也无法结束游戏。”

“而到了现在，我们谁都不知道谁才是那个真正做梦的人。”

3

顺着行宫步道向深处走，距离大门口五十米左右，是一条没有分叉的单行路，通体漆成淡淡的浅灰，左右两侧分布着间隔均匀的胡桃木立体雕刻落地窗，Malleus向外看去，植被茂盛，柳暗花明，灿金色的阳光重重压迫在花草植被上，所有物件都是一动不动，独独他所处的小道蒙着PM2.5超标般的阴影，堂而皇之地盘踞在花园的正中央，生生打破了这副完美到虚假的画面。

层峦叠嶂的墨绿色复古流苏布帘在地板上堆积出优雅的褶皱，仰头却看不见用于支撑的穹顶，荆棘丛生，灰败的蔷薇花叶点缀在细密的尖刺中，为他带路的Silver穿着鹦鹉套装艰难地移动着，好像随时都会摔倒。

Malleus收回视线，现在不是东想西想的时候，他应该去见Lilia了。

*********

你永远可以在游戏里相信Idia，相信他即便空着MP条也能用平A和风骚的走位展现天神下凡一打四的奇迹，相信他面对BOSS的超绝清场全屏必杀技都能找到逃出生天的千万分之一帧，相信他就算队友死光了也能单挑百人炼狱副本，只要是用数据和代码组成的世界里，Idia就是无上的神。

故而此时此刻我对Idia持有狂热到无脑的崇拜，他说东就绝不去西，他说偷狗就绝不抓鸡，既然Idia说唯一的解法是把那不知名的梦想家从这庄周大梦中叫醒，那我就算敲锣打鼓吵得全校师生不得安宁都得让他明白夜生活的美妙之处。

“据在下所知，过去的传统流程应该是首先在国王那里接受任务，拯救村民后得到通往城堡的钥匙，在一般路过无名高手的训练下获取斩杀恶龙的力量，最后受到游商的帮助，一边高呼‘不要小看了人类啊’，啪的一声砍掉大反派就可以了。”Idia头一次在我们面前讲了这么多话，难免口干舌燥，他意犹未尽的舔了舔嘴唇，“顺便一提，国王是Vil氏，村民是Ruggie氏，一般高手是在下，游商是Azul氏，大反派恶龙的数据代码我看不到，不过如果是龙的话应该就是Diasomnia那些家伙了吧。”

好家伙，一个个名字都是熟人，细细想来似乎这身份都还有几分道理，但我却总觉得哪哪儿不对劲，Deuce干脆很不给面子地笑出了声，他乐得不行，疯狂捶打一旁的Ace：“把财宝空手送人的Ruggie？慈悲为怀的Azul？”

Ace也笑了：“你还不如告诉我们监督生是勇者，集万千心意力量于一身，能一个魔导炮轰了恶龙的城堡。”

Idia咧开嘴，跟着他们嬉皮笑脸：“他就是勇者啊。”

笑声戛然而止。

我被天降的大任砸了个措手不及，原以为能就此划水当个被人带飞的菜鸡，却被告知正式队员们今天集体拉肚子上不了场，鉴于你每日蹲饮水机的态度良好，不如今次去打个主力试试。

天晓得我上场前连一次训练都没参加过，万众瞩目之下，比踩着高跷挤入鹤群的鸡还要浑水摸鱼。

Idia打了个响指，原本比鸽子还安静的电脑屏幕骤然扩大，宛如三朵泡在茶叶中的木耳，纵向排列开成遮天蔽日的伞状结构，不远处，原本还供我们其乐融融亲子同游的茂密山林燃起熊熊大火，正以猫戏老鼠的架势缓慢逼近，隐约中我仿佛看到了系统那张得瑟而欠揍的笑脸，似乎在嘲讽着我们这群不守规矩的愚蠢人类。

更何况它的无线广播差点让我以为我真的对角太郎产生了不轨之情，DOKIDOKI了大半天才知道完全是无稽之谈，我临危受命，拿着鸡毛当令箭，加之左右护法牛头马面皆在，背后还有偌大的靠山兜底，故而有恃无恐得异常欠揍，不把这缺德系统的毛都拔了，怎对得起我堂堂小破寮寮长的身份？

“在下建议你们尽快找到剧情的关键人物，我已经修补好了你们每个人的游戏特性，总之先把基础流程稳定下来，细节就不要考究了，冲进城堡，干掉BOSS，OVER。”Idia十指纷飞，如穿花蝴蝶一般，非单身18年不可能有如此手速，在应该触碰的按键上轻轻掠过，未等我的视觉神经将信号传输回大脑，他已然将自己的战场推进到第二甚至第三第四阶段。

“至于在下，就稍微给系统添一点小麻烦好了，” 网络上的不败之王裂开嘴角，露出一排阴森森的鲨鱼齿，他站在那里，面对滔天的烈焰，一如用双手捧起火种的普罗米修斯，“诸君，战争开始了。”

无论怎样的炮弹都可以通过意念发射的左轮手枪——只有一次机会，用完就报废；三次实现可能性的愿望——达成条件的方法完全无法控制，极有可能出现我们当初跳崖的状况；将一切幻化为自己想要物品的双手——Deuce的想象力只够让他变出锅和魔导车；只要知道名字就能传送到他人所在地的无视距离的跃迁能力——伴随着使用Jake会逐渐失去人类的模样，届时将无法再次发动，且用且珍惜。

火燎将至，焮天铄地，我们严肃地举起左手，行军礼对大无畏殿后的Idia前辈致敬，脚下的平地骤然化为无底的空洞，依照顺序，第一站是国王Vil身边。

事实证明我们空降得不是时候，刚刚落地，漫天箭雨倾泻而至，我吓得滋哇儿乱叫，当场以一个猛虎扑地式五体投地双手抱头，只求Idia大人有大量，顺手帮我们加了复活系统，待那闪着寒光的箭头打在身上，我才发现这看上去杀伤力十足的箭矢居然是用橡皮软糖做的，外面度了一层食用银箔，看上去还挺逼真勒。

我装作没事人一样爬起来，咳嗽两声掩饰尴尬，再拍拍膝盖上莫须有的灰，假装自己是个瞎子，看不到Ace鄙视的目光，Jake不适的挥了挥自己的前爪，关节往下，他的四肢都覆盖上了兽类特有的绒毛，看上去非常好薅的样子。

说是战场，实际上交战双方都随便得叫人伤心，左侧犹如在大棚里掀起一场食用蔬果起义运动，黄瓜香蕉李子梨，萝卜香菜南瓜芹，原本负责给人们补充维生素的素食菜品纷纷长出手脚，手持软糖做成的刀枪斧钺，神情凶悍，右侧一堆夹娃娃里我永远也夹不到的毛绒玩偶，兔子猫咪大老虎，拿的是橡皮泥做成的盾牌长矛。两边虽力不足但心有余，硬生生把动画总动员拍出了血战沙场的惨烈战况。

Deuce双手成圈，嘴里哔哔叭叭，好似把自己变成了一台通电式显微镜，片刻后原地起跳，眼珠子都快要瞪出来，疯狂摇晃着我的肩膀，指着某个地方：“Vil前辈在那里！”

我全然忘记了自己方才有多胆小如鼠，大肆嘲笑Deuce的格局太小，看瓜果打架都能惊成这样，谁知刚顺着他手指的方向看过去，一声卧槽破口而出，我当场给了自己一个巴掌，痛骂自己是傻逼，眼泪不争气的从嘴角喷射而出，哈喇子流了满地。

只见Vil一身古希腊交叉班德奥，长裙宽松，随风扬起，头发高高盘起，十三厘米细高跟踩在地上，鞋跟尖得能直接戳爆我的眼珠子，腿长目测至少四点五英尺，修长紧致，他傲然立于一众瓜果蔬菜间，手持蛇戟，运筹帷幄，面对玩偶动物组成的敌军不落下风，俨然是一骑当千的大将之相。

Vil，你干脆改名叫Athena吧！又好看又能打的女神！

他视线一倪，在看到我们的同时长叹一口气，眉宇间流露出明显的无奈：“土豆开会？”

不愧是女神，夸人都夸得这么有特点，他在叫我土豆欸！

我被美色蒙蔽了双眼，突兀的捡起了自己早八百年前就扔干净了的羞耻心，扭扭捏捏，半天没憋出来一个字，Ace见着我派不上用场，干脆顶了我的勇者队长位置，对着Vil疯狂招手：“前辈！给我们下个讨伐恶龙的任务吧！我们急着赶进度！”

Vil当机立断，显然已经受够了给一堆蔬菜当国王，审美经过一夜的挑战已然把耐心消磨殆尽，但他还是表现出了绝佳的演员素养：“无畏的勇者们！我在此赋予你们无上的荣耀，举起手中的剑，将恶龙驱逐出这个世界！”

紧接着美人一转攻势，语气不善，斯巴达式导师风范展露无遗：“明天我有一场很重要的拍摄活动，你们清楚要是我因为睡眠不足导致皮肤状态下滑会是多严重的后果吧？”

我们赶紧如小鸡啄米般点头，事不宜迟，立刻传送到下一个地点。

前有伞兵一号监督生空降毒圈，后就有地下组织枪火对拼，我脚底下刚站稳，脸颊倏地一痛，伸手摸了把脸，鲜红鲜红的血，耶，还是热的。

我还沉浸在方才Vil的绝世美貌之中，对眼下的严峻事态认知不清，M249，ZB26，QBZ95，QSZ92，各式各样的军用枪械塞满了这间当铺样式店铺的窗口门框，要不是Ace眼疾手快把我摁在地上，只怕碎的就不是我们身后的花瓶，而是我不怎么灵光的脑瓜子了。

不等指挥员一声令下，比瞬间还要漫长的寂静后，劈里啪啦的枪击声悍然鞭挞着我的耳膜，这场枪火表演足足过了半分钟才停止，下令者怒气未消，装弹声不绝于耳，机括碰撞，那枚擦着我脸颊而过的子弹弹壳掉在我脚边，烟尘四起，我被熏得热泪盈眶，忍不住向天提问：“咋回事儿啊？”

我们明明要去找Ruggie，为什么现在跟我们一起趴在地上的是Azul？

奸商依旧带着他那副骚包而不失低调的平框眼睛，好似一切与他无关，他甚至有心情换了个姿势，躺在地上理了理衣领，冷静地回答道：“简而言之，就是Ruggie带着金钥匙过来找我进行交易的时候，那把钥匙觉得我出的价钱太低，是在看不起它的含金量，于是掏枪把Ruggie打死了，并且看样子，它打算把我一起打死。”

我觉得不是价钱的问题，Azul，你不对劲。

4

行宫内没有灯，伴随着沉默的步调，提供照明的落地窗于无意间悄然退场，黑暗并不能带给Malleus分毫的恐惧，妖精的视力足以让他在最深沉的夜晚视物如白昼，但他看不到Silver了。

穿着滑稽鹦鹉布偶的青年就像融化在了寂静的廊道里，不可知，不可听，不可感，不可闻，由墨玉修葺而成的台阶盘旋于中空的石柱上，仿佛朝圣者们一步一叩首方可得到神明垂怜的天路，孤身一人追求着道听途说的谣传，巨大的鸟笼状建筑悬挂于石柱顶端，覆盖在笼栏外围的黑水晶犬牙交错，显然建筑工队们在施工的时候心情不大好，将这精美的装饰品做成了如此危险的模样。

神出鬼没的美少年站在台阶半途，笑眯眯地看着Malleus，见他似乎没有先开口的意思，只得耸了耸肩：“老夫好容易见一次你的梦境，Malleus，你怎么这么冷淡。”

他从自己侍奉的王的眼中看到了明显的不解，是在遇到了电子设备时才会稍稍露面的一筹莫展：“梦？”

居然还没睡醒呢。

“没什么，”Lilia不打算叫醒他，末裔成年后极少在他面前袒露自己真实的想法，机会难得，他还想再多看一会儿，“我不是说过很多次了吗，你也该好好体验一下校园生活了，要不要试试在房间里多开一扇窗户？”

“不用了，我觉得现在很好。”

他们并行在漫无止境的台阶上，一同走向空洞的殿堂中央。

**********

在冷兵器的时代，突然掏出满屋子的巴雷特着实有些作弊的嫌疑，满级大佬进新手村体验生活也知道别上来就开大招，吓跑了新生的韭菜以后去哪儿找游戏体验？

可是钥匙不在乎这些，钥匙只想把我们拧巴拧巴，做成一串九曲连环，你说你一把钥匙，为啥要五个钥匙扣？难不成打算工作日一天挂一个，周末轮休？奢靡之风要不得的，物质上的放纵可是心灵堕落的开始！

我们堂堂五个顶天立地男子汉，齐齐瑟缩在一张单人床板底下，活像被硬塞进鲱鱼罐头里的鲱鱼，挤一点也就算了，尾巴塞不进去还要用机枪扫是怎么回事？虽说我最近吃得是多了一点，但肚子上的肉应该没有多到丧尽天良的地步吧？

我努力腾出一只手，对着奸商打了个比划：“无内鬼，交易继续，我们做了那把钥匙，你滴，把你和Ruggie的任务进度给触发咯，早打完BOSS早回去睡觉。”

Azul明显觉得这不像话，他素来玩得都是空手套白狼，力图用最小的代价换回最大的利益，一切解释权都归他所有，合同上白纸黑字的坑挖得好好的，跳下去是你自己眼瞎，可惜在场的四个没吃过猪肉也见过猪跑，深知必不能让Azul开这个口，就着天时地利人和，直接剥夺了章鱼的话语权。

Deuce一招标准的擒拿，扼住Azul的喉咙，把他的巧舌如簧掐成了蚊子嘤：“他同意了！”

Ace趁机掰开奸商的手指：“你看他比了个V，绝对是同意了！”

唯一的良心Jake，鉴于脑袋已经变成了狼头，做不出语言表率，干脆以身作则，尾巴一卷Azul的腰，带着他就地翻滚，脱离了战场。

强买强卖的事情，一回生，二回熟，近朱者赤近墨者黑，大家都不是什么好人，章鱼仔，别怪我们心狠。

这番乒乒乓乓的动静自然瞒不过钥匙的耳目，它柄头一弯，枪林弹雨簌簌而来，没时间商量战术了，我飞扑出去，蘸着脸上未干的血迹，在地板上狠狠擦出几个字母。

Y GO S 2 B 1

我考试不行，但顶天发誓我从未想过作弊，莫说小抄笔记，写卷子时脑袋都不敢多抬个30°，生怕贵宾犬的教鞭就落在我桌子上，震耳欲聋的脆响能把我吓尿了裤子。

故而初次光明正大的打暗号，对我来说着实是个挑战，还有点心脏怦怦跳的小刺激，实际上我想说的是：你们去送，2保1。要是给我那位名不见经传的英语老师看见，他一定能打得我这辈子都忘不了字母表。

如此抽象的艺术表达方式，我原本还在担忧Ace和Deuce看不懂，未想天下学渣是一家，我们仨在一起厮混了这么久，不说心有灵犀一点通，至少也算得上是臭味相投，他俩居然真的明白了我在说什么鸟言鸟语，真不愧是好兄弟，就算他们知道我平日里是个多不靠谱的败家子，却依旧怀着对我全然的信任，站在了钥匙的射程内。

上好的靶子自己跳出来，钥匙没理由不打，足足七十二把我叫不上名字的枪械组成庞大的军火堡垒，硝烟弥漫，子弹出膛的火花照亮了大半个房间。

Deuce中弹了，Deuce他装的，千钧一发之际他双手合掌，以一个炼金术士专用的姿势拍向地毯，大锅拔地而起，拦在Deuce和子弹之间，劈里啪啦的金属碰撞声此起彼伏，Ace从他身后窜出，高声大喝：“我希望对准我们的武器全部报废。”

乒乒乓乓一顿骤响，守在钥匙身边的枪支足有一半炸了膛，比放烟花还热烈，炸得我太阳穴胀痛，耳框湿润，高频率的尖锐蜂鸣回荡在我的脑海内，身边一片寂静。

Ace你行不行啊！怎么实现愿望还缺斤少两的！

我知道我的耳膜肯定出了问题，会不会留下后遗症也是未知数，当务之急是一发崩掉那个敢于拦在我面前的无赖钥匙。

你以为你有枪了不起吗？

没想到吧，大爷我也有！

我撩起宽松的裤管，从绑在大腿上的牛皮袋中掏出一把精巧的左轮手枪，半跪在地，单眼瞄准，双臂伸直，无数雪白的魔导粒子汇聚于枪口，深蓝的火焰如带来滂沱大雨的风暴，在我身前汇聚成扭曲的涡轮，枪柄烫得我龇牙咧嘴，掌心肯定是起了水泡了，肯定会留好大一块疤，但我不能放手。

生死就在一线之间，而关键时刻，监督生从不拉跨。

砰——

白色魔导光束直冲云霄，驱散了大片遮天蔽日的云层，掩过太阳的光辉，我被冲击力震得摔出两米远，尊臀生疼，右手一动也不能动，显然是脱臼了。

那把雄赳赳气昂昂的钥匙彻底消散在第四次科技革命的光辉之下，连带着数千米焦黑的沟渠，半块房梁掉了下来，连带着被我轰掉大半部分的屋顶，劈里啪啦散了一地。

我和Ace等人面面相觑，当时光顾着报我毁容之仇，未想到这要是没了钥匙，还能怎么进城堡？

Azul好容易挣脱了Jake的禁锢，被狼毛熏得直打喷嚏，我无比想要嘲笑他灰头土脸的样子，可是笑不出来，脸颊一动，耳朵里就疼的像是在被虫豸撕咬，连带着被子弹擦开的伤口一起，疼的我龇牙咧嘴，Ace凑过来对我说些什么，我听不清，只好傻笑示意。

都说失去某样触感会让其他器官更加灵敏，想来我的耳朵大概就是本体了，我的眼前血刺呼啦的，怎么抹都抹不干净，却不觉得疼，低头一看才发现原来那血不是从头顶流下来的，你说拿着皮开肉绽的巴掌擦脸，怎么可能擦得干净。

他们几人背着我开小团体会议，开了八十下心跳的时间，不知道和Azul达成了什么条件，Ace把我从地上拉起来，对着我慢慢做口型：“走了，去打BOSS。”

我尚且能够活动的左手里被塞入一把破破烂烂的小手枪，不比能单发魔导炮的左轮精致，应该是Ace用他最后的愿望帮我做的，我鼻子一酸，赶忙把眼泪憋回去，虽然没有镜子，靠着想象我都能知道现在我脸上究竟有多五彩缤纷，再加点盐水助助兴，等会儿上台就能唱花旦了。

啥叫兄弟，这就叫兄弟，就算成天打屁吹逼，紧要关头却依旧能为了我的一句话拼上性命，虽千万人而吾往矣。

我们的终点站是恶龙的城堡外围，被荆棘和黑水晶所覆盖的巨大蛋形建筑，没有钥匙，系统绝不会让我们进去。

Jake已然化身巨大的银狼，四爪着地的那种，他低下头，示意我坐到他身上来，Deuce扎了个马步，屏息敛声，跟便秘了似的，接着大喝一声——我还是听不到——双手拍上Jake的头顶。

他果然是仅凭本能就可以创造奇迹的天才，化腐朽为神奇，生肉骨于硅石，Jake仰天长啸，与毛发同色的超现实感金属盔甲覆盖在银狼的全身，后肢列八排散热管，双核心涡轮增压系统，SOHC发动机，引擎不动则已，一动惊人，它惊人的爆发力让Jake有能力带着我一跃万米之高，视万有引力为梦话空谈。

猎猎狂风把我的伤口扯得生疼，在空中划出带着鲜红的轨迹，透过半透明的水晶屏障，我看到那位让系统咒骂怨恨，分尸数万次也不为过的恶龙正安静的站在绝对的阴影之中，神情宁静，一尘不染，如酣睡的孩童，嘴唇却紧紧地抿着。

他站在那里，灵魂却好似已经浪游了整个孤独的宇宙。

弧形运动的最高点，Jake扭头咬住我的衣角，将我抛向殿堂的正上方。

坠落。

坠落。

坠落。

我对着足以将我的五脏六腑刺个对穿的荆棘坠落，凛冽如宙斯的烈火，奔赴我最后的归宿，化为虚无或者灰烬都无所谓，无法轮回就此消泯也不足尔尔。

怒吼，狂嗥，血泪合流，直到声嘶力竭。

呐喊，咆哮，榨干血肉骨髓里所有的力量。

这把小手枪绝对无法重现方才炮打苍蝇的辉煌。

但足以承载我全部的期待。

食指轻抖。

扣动扳机。

“角太郎！”

他愕然抬头。

“这个故事是Happy Ending！”

从枪口爆出无数灿金的蔷薇，裹挟着粼粼的阳光，蛮不讲理地闯进了永宁的常夜。

【尾声】

第二天我从地板上醒来，腰酸背痛，耳鸣得走不出直线，全场四个人，明明都没盖被子睡得像死猪，偏偏只有我得了重感冒，在Crewel的课上哈欠连天，被罚写双倍的作业。

我一边哀嚎着自己的老胳膊老腿一边趴在床上抄书，那台游戏机最终被送给了Idia，离开了游戏，这家伙的社恐变本加厉，交接物品的时候都是Ortho代劳。

Lilia偶尔会在周末“凑巧”走错了方向，“凑巧”多跑了一个小时，然后“凑巧”路过小破寮的门口，“凑巧”地和我一起站在寒风之中，他喝番茄汁，我喝营养快线，咕噜咕噜一口气干完，再各奔东西打道回府。

我自始至终都没搞清楚为何我们会进入角太郎的梦境，此后也极少与他会面，梦境的细节我已经记不清了，但Mostro Lounge的门口挂上了“监督生与狗不得入内”的牌子。

臭章鱼真的好小气。

我把营养快线的瓶子扔进垃圾桶，打算今晚继续跟Ace他们通宵打牌，如果输了就去骚扰Azul，偷喝听说是他最近新购入的82年的拉菲。


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